For many people, knowing what they want is a bit of a hurdle – or a dilemma. While our two weekend workshop – Create Your Future Now – is designed to give you NLP & mind skills and life strategies to accelerate your success and achieve your goals– its useful to know where your success is – or what you want. And many who attend, come with no idea of what they want.
I love road trips. The day before I make sure the petrol tank is full, I check the tyres and water levels, I have my bags packed ready to go, and I have a destination in mind. I will probably give the GPS the coordinates of that destination. It and I know where I’m going. And its often somewhere I’ve never been before.
Not knowing what you want is like not having a destination. You don’t know where you’re going to end up. However, I’d like you to consider that you do know how to find out what you want.
We have definite opinions about what we don’t want, what we don’t like, and what we have tried and not achieved. Whether its making a grade, or food, or people, or movies and music, the clothes we wear, the places we like to go – we have likes and dislikes.
For some of us, we think we have everything we want, and are dissatisfied. Or you have tried to get what you wanted, and failed time and time again. So you give up, or decide its not for you. Now what?
You feel like you’re in a rut. Same shit, different day. The days fade into each other and sometimes you feel like you’re just going through the motions. Many people look for distractions – binge watching Netflix, surfing facebook and social media, going out on the town every night, overspending, over eating or becoming gym junkies. And distractions are useful – but only if they serve a positive purpose.
Now here’s an interesting thing that happens if you don’t have a direction. Life, the Universe, whatever – will make things happen TO you. Job losses, unexpected bills, constant dramas, injuries, relationship breakdowns – you get thrown shit that you definitely don’t want. Why – because human beings are designed to grow and thrive. And you can grow a lot faster through adversity and achievement than through complacency or boredom. Whether or not there is a lesson in it is besides the point – you will change. And who are you becoming? You might not think you have any choice – but you do.
Decide. Here’s some useful strategies on how.
You know what you don’t want. Write it all down – those things that really get you down. It doesn’t matter what it is – if its about you, or your circumstances or things or people. Get it all out on paper or on your computer/ device. And write down as much as you can possibly come up with. Get it all out.
Now walk away from it, and consider this. If it is possible for others to have what they want, or do what they want, then its possible for you – even though you might know how just yet. I know that life, society and experiences have created limitations for you, but imagine that anything is possible for you. Put yourself into a positive state of possibility. Change “I can’t” to “what if anything was possible for me”?
And in this state – go back to your list.
Look at what you don’t want, and write down the opposite of it.
If you don’t want to be in debt or broke – change it to be debt free – or have more than enough money
Don’t want to feel trapped or controlled – to have freedom and ease
Don’t want to be tired – to have more energy
Don’t want to be fat – to be slim and fit
Don’t want drama – to have great experiences.
Keep going. Now there are some things that you are happy not to want. Shell fish. I don’t want or like chocolate ice-cream – and I don’t have to want it – but what positive likes could I have? Strawberries or vanilla ice-cream. I don’t want to get sick, but I do want consistent health and energy.
Now you’re starting to create a map to a destination. Or many possible destinations. And you’re starting to decide. The word DECIDE comes from Classical Latin decidere, to cut off, to arrive at a judgment, choice, or decision.
Of these new possibilities – what interests you – or even excites you? You could rate them 1-5 – 1 being not very interested in having or wanting – 5 being really interested. You’re not judging, or putting conditions on these – its still about possibility. In opening to possibility, you can now entertain a choices and decisions.
Pick a couple, and day dream a little. Who would you become, if you had this? You see, the goal, the thing, the experience is a point on the map to a destination. Its who you become through the journey that helps you grow. And this is why any form of success changes you as quickly as adversity can.
So what really makes you upset? What do you think you have no control or choice over? What made you give up? Is it keeping you stuck? Drop it in the comments below and share your thoughts.
Decide not to wait to have what you want – start now.